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01 August 2010 @ 11:57 am
Random question for the mind...If the world was ending, and there was a ship that could take you to a safe planet, but you could only take 15 people. So who would you pick to get on that boat with you? This was a question asked by my friend on AIM, when we were playing the truth game.

My answer...no one. I know I sound like a sadist, letting the whole world die like that...but I just think it would be too lonely without all the people in the world. Sure, there are days when we encounter bad people, people who hate us, people who get on our nerves, people who we hate, people who we feel should just fuck off and die, but even with all those imperfections, the world is perfect. The world is perfect because it is imperfect.

And plus, that also goes without saying that we, as a human race, have polluted and destroyed this mother earth so much already, why do we need to continue on our destruction paths to the another planet? I don't think it would be fair to give the other planet the same fate. And plus...since one of my friends stated that we could reproduce if there was 15 of us, so we could keep the human race going, but like I said, what good would that be?

There's really no point in living if the world we've always known is going to be destroyed. Besides, we as humans are bound to the destiny of the Earth, we've destroyed it enough, so we might as well have caused the destruction with our own hands.
Current Location: where you aren't,
Current Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Current Music: Sakura Kukoro - Miyamoto Shunichi
10 February 2010 @ 05:10 pm

I see you
I see you

Walking through a dream
I see you
My light in darkness breathing hope of new life
Now I live through you and you through me
I pray in my heart that this dream never ends

I see me through your eyes
Living through life flying high
Your love shines the way into paradise
So I offer my life as a sacrifice
I live through your love

You teach me how to see
All that's beautiful
My senses touch your world I've never pictured
Now I give my hope to you
I surrender
I pray in my heart that this world never ends

I see me through your eyes
Living through life flying high
Your love shines the way into paradise
So I offer my life
I offer my love, for you

When my heart was never opened
(and my spirit never free)
To the world that you have shown me
But my eyes could not division
All the colors of love and of life evermore

(I see me through your eyes)
(I see me through your eyes)
(Living through life flying high)
Flying high

Your love shines the way into paradise
So I offer my life as a sacrifice
I live through your love
I see you...
I see you...
Tags: , ,
Current Location: in wonderland.
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: i see you - leona lewis
07 February 2010 @ 04:40 am
THIS. :DDDCollapse )
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: naturally - selena gomez
17 January 2010 @ 07:32 am

Whoohoo! I make a chance to win this cd!

Would you also like to try to win this cd?
Check out this post @ kpop_groups
asdfjkl;asdfjkl;asdfjkl; *incoherent*

OMG. i just went to watch avatar today! *O* amazing movie, if i don't say so myself. the effects was stunning, and the plot was very well-paced. the action, the war, the fighting, it was all captured splendidly. i must say, one of the best movies i have watched in quite a while. the fact of it being in 3D makes the visual all the more appealing to the naked eye. :] the science in it was pretty cool too, pretty easy to understand and not confusing as i first thought it would have been. veeeery good movie. everyone should definitely go watch it! i know i'm going to go watch it a second time. :3 <3 the only complaint i have about it was how long it was (3 hours in total), and that wasn't even a big problem, since i think that every scene that was in that movie really should be in the movie. tonight has been amazing. btw it was the second movie i actually finished at 12 am at the amc. XD the first was harry potter 6. XD i will definitely be back to write more about this movie. :]
Tags: ,
Current Location: in my room
Current Mood: chipperchipper
Current Music: doushite - tohoshinki
03 January 2010 @ 08:43 am
I am here writing this entry because I have just come to realize that writing out my emotions actually make me feel better.

I actually wasn't feeling very well yesterday, or even right now, it's fucking 8:30 am and I still have yet to have a decent wink of sleep, because I had found out something very earth-shattering and tremendously painful. It was like opening an old scar, something I knew had always been there but I have always been trying to avoid, like the plague. I'm actually not sure to make of it, whether I should be mad at the person who wrote it or just let it go and forgive, as I have tried to make myself do. I kept telling myself that my revenge to that person (who is someone very dear to me, as a matter of fact) is to keep on fighting and prove to them that I am not the kind of person they described me as, but it's really getting hard. Last night I kept on praying for Yunho to give me some of his kindness, some of his forgiving nature, because it just seem like I just can't be that way. But I have decided to not bring it up, so as not to place that person in an awkward position, and plus, I don't think I was supposed to find out anyways. I will continue going on with my life as if nothing has happened, but that doesn't mean that I will ever forget it. I may forgive them, because I really just can't stop myself from doing so, but I will not forget it.

As for my emotions right now...I am quite tired, and rather depressed as well. The DBSK lawsuit does not looking like it's going well, and really, they are the only people who will be able to save me from falling into depression as I have almost fallen prey to so many times before, so it is really taxing to me. I can't stop worrying about them, I check on them five, six times a day, or more, and I can't seem to stop the bad feeling I have about it. I worry for them, the emotional pain it will cause them all, and everything they will have to go through when something terrible does come out of this lawsuit, and...I can't stop feeling sad at what they have to go through to get their freedom.

Yoochun's note on his cyworld is not brightening my mood either. He wrote two simple words: "byebye", in black lettering with the photo taken in black and white, and that is scaring me. I...wonder what's wrong? People on soompi keep on saying that he is just saying goodbye to 2009 and greeting 2010, but why do I have a hard time believing that? I'm sorry for sounding like a pessisimist right now, but I really can't get the feeling that he is hinting at something else altogether...like maybe...their relationship. This is making me scared, and now I really don't think I will be able to sleep today, just like the other days. Yoochun is scaring me, and I don't know what to make of him any more. All this pain...sometimes I wonder if they do regret it.

From the looks of it, I feel like Jaejoong really regret doing this whole lawsuit in the first place, since he seem to be the one having the hardest time with this whole fiasco. The others, they are a bit stronger, though Yoochun not by much, so they are able to handle it, and they have one another, Yoochunn having Junsu and Yunho having Changmin, but Jaejoong...who is there for him? He must be so tired, so pained, so sad right now...I am really feeling worried for him. It's not helping that it seems that his health is slowly deteriorating either. To me, it seems like Jaejoong is the one that is going to break right now, he doesn't have anyone. I...am genuinely concerned for him. Hell, he's not even my favorite, and I can still sense the pain in himm and feel the emotional stress he must be going through right now...I wonder how he is doing right now.

And then with the news that Changmin's health is deteriorating too...him being too skinny, practically to the point of underweight, is not doing the situation any better. They are being put through such emotional and physical stress...why is fate so cruel to the both of them? They are the ones who make me believe in forever, and now...everything seems to be falling apart. Sometimes, it feels to me as if they have such a strong bond that even the heavens and the gods are jealous of, and that's why they're throwing in all these complications in order to make it harder for them to be together. I just hope that they will be able to fight through this battle, maybe one of the toughest battles they will ever be faced with. I just want them all to be happy, to be able to chase their dreams, together, as five, was that too much to ask? Am I being selfish if I say that I truly want them to be happy, as five?
Current Location: Here and not there.
07 June 2009 @ 10:06 am
I am...

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who is afraid becuase I can love a man and a woman.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

***if you agree that these people are the same as us, please repost to show others what is the right thing to do and to show awareness that there are others who suffer just because they are different from the rest of us
07 February 2009 @ 11:54 am
It just so happens that I need a place to rant, and oh what a surprise, I thought of Livejournal. It's the perfect place for such a procrastinator like me. I still have a crapload of homework to do, but fuck that. Life's too short to bury yourself in a pile of homework. It's like digging yourself into a hole filled with wet mud. Ew. Not something I want to do.

I'm still trying to find a Myspace layout. And yes, I'm still new to myspace. I've made several ones in the past, but once I got into the forums fandom, I just stopped using it for about 2 years now, and that's a LONG time to go on hiatus, if you can't tell. Since my anime addiction has paled in comparison to Kpop, I will have to go with a DBSK layout. And because I don't have photoshop and was never an artsy kind of person to start with, I am searching for one on google. Yes, I do live on google. And it seems to be of no avail. Great. More things for me to mope over this weekend. It just so happens that all of the layouts available all suck, in comparison to the ones I've seen. And I don't wanna make a fool of myself. I'm still thinking of a song to use too, and what to put on the other parts of my profile as well. I was never a social person to start with, so I don't expect much there. Still, I wouldn't be too embarrassed to say that I have a myspace, but with very few friends. It just so happens that I'm not interested in myspace or facebook or friendster like everyone else, so I really feel bad for myself. Actually, I'm thinking of using the song So Sick, no reason. Maybe it's because I kinda feel that way nowadays. The layouts aren't bad actually, just I'm too picky and self-conscious. I care a lot about what people think about me.

The more I like at the layouts, the more I feel that I suck. Maybe I should just grab a layout and get it over with. Then maybe when I'm better at HTML coding I can just change it. I don't know. But all the ones I'm seeing so far are better off by themselves; not with me. Even if they're good or whatever. I doubt I would find one that would be eye-catching to people, or impressive. I've gotta admit though, those are really bright and eye-catching. And the selection is very wideset, easy to browse through. But the layouts are ugly; and too plain.

I think I'll settle on one soon.
30 January 2009 @ 10:08 am
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Current Mood: worriedworried
Current Music: Sadame - X TV
15 January 2009 @ 11:58 am
And now, it's time for me to spazz about my new layout, lol. I actually find it OK looking, not the best, but it would have to do for now. At least it's not so bright that it blinds my eyes. :D But still, there is not a section for tags and the recent entries, archive, and user info thing, and the links section, are all white on top of a white background, so you have to highlight to see them. =_= And, although it had a "locations" part on the post, the location and titles and lj-cuts texts cannot be written with capital letters. So when I write ;D it turns into ;d, and it gets very annoying because it's so funky and fucking retarded looking. Bullshit if I don't say so myself. D; But otherwise, everything else is fine. ^___^ lol And, there's a bonus, it has DBSK in it. haha My addiction to them has gone way too far now; I can't live a day without seeing them! D: And since I changed my layout just now, I won't be doing the mood icons until way later, or when I feel like it, which, depends on my mood.
Current Location: With my musings.
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: Bolero - DBSK